Dello schianto e della bellezza di un addio
Sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt
Le lacrime delle cose, le lacrime per le cose. A sentire Virgilio, cui non smettiamo di riandare ogni qualvolta la realtà mostra il suo volto più dolente, le cose non solo hanno il potere di suscitare il pianto ma esse stesse sono pianto. Al cospetto del reale, improvvisamente restituito, sia pure per qualche istante, alla sua oggettività, sottratto a ogni ipotesi di personale interpretazione, gli occhi non reggono e il pianto “delle cose” si trasforma in pianto “per le cose”. Le lacrime, rotti gli argini delle nostre umane, troppo umane, inibizioni, inondano con la loro piena i nostri occhi che, superato l’offuscamento iniziale, cominciano a vedere meglio, a vedere di più, a intuire la verità delle cose, a entrarci dentro, a leggere in esse il loro e il nostro mistero, forse il perché del nostro stesso stare al mondo. Quel pianto, solo allora, recupera la sua più antica natura, ridivenendo lustrale, strumento di una purificazione che non solo coinvolge la vista, ma restituisce anche alle cose ciò di cui esse hanno più urgente necessità: il nostro commuoverci per la loro fine, il nostro muoverci con esse per rendere meno insopportabile la loro fine.
A toccare il nostro cuore (come altrimenti interpretare quella mens che Virgilio dice scossa dai mortalia?) è il destino di mortalità di tutto ciò che è umano, al quale il nostro cuore, il nostro bisogno originario di bellezza, pienezza, verità, non sa arrendersi, come accade all’imperatore del dramma che da lui prende il nome, il quale, in un dialogo col suo liberto, spiega le ragioni della propria improvvisa scomparsa con le parole: “Semplicemente mi sono sentito all’improvviso un bisogno di impossibile. Le cose così come sono non mi sembrano soddisfacenti”. Le cose, così come sono, non mi sembrano soddisfacenti, perciò anch’io voglio la Luna, come l’antico sovrano. Tutti noi vogliamo la Luna, vogliamo che la bellezza, se solo l’abbiamo vista, assaggiata, toccata, resti con noi, non ci abbandoni dopo averci sedotto. Eppure la bellezza, ricordo con ostinata rabbia amorosa a me stesso, non sa durare, sottoposta com’è alla inarrestabile rapina del tempo. Il più impietoso dei divoratori.
Quelle parole virgiliane spiegano il pianto di un uomo che, contemplando ritratte sulle pareti di un tempio le lacrime mortali della sua terra, si abbandona al più umano dei sentimenti: la nostalgia.
Correndo il rischio di apparire blasfemo e ben conscio che il ricordo delle scene di una città in fiamme pretenderebbe da noi, specie in tempi come quelli che stiamo attraversando, soltanto il silenzio, lo stesso che coglie Enea al loro cospetto, non riesco a non confessare che questo verso indimenticabile ha fatto capolino nella mia mens nel corso della notte appena trascorsa, di fronte ai gesti, resi pubblici per l’ultima volta, di un uomo che ha dato un corpo flessibile alla bellezza, facendola esperienza possibile per tutti, facendola esperienza possibile per me.
L’addio al tennis di Roger Federer, l’uomo attraverso i cui gesti l’eterno non s’è sdegnato di vestirsi di sensibil forma, dando ritmo a un ideale, mi restituisce, ancora come sempre, con la spietatezza di cui solo il tempo con la sua inesorabile voracità sa essere capace, alla logica della fine propria di ogni esperienza mortale, anche di quelle che paiono più prossime a ciò che mortale non è.
Il pianto del genio, di chi letteralmente ha generato bellezza facendola feconda per chiunque, incluso chi scrive, volesse goderne e sentirsene inspiegabilmente parte, è comune al pianto di tutti, è comune al mio che di fronte all’apoteosi della fine non so reggere, non posso reggere, non voglio reggere.
Al cospetto della formidabilità della realtà che promette infinito, mostrando il suo volto più desiderabile nelle movenze di un uomo, salvo poi ribadire, col cinismo di sempre, la finitezza propria di ogni umana cosa, i sensi barcollano e se non ci si aggrappa a qualcosa, meglio a qualcuno, il rischio, mai avvertito con tale concretezza, è cadere.
Ecco perché prendo congedo dal mio amore vertiginoso per Roger (ogni lutto va elaborato), compagnia di quasi due decenni di estasi e angoscia, di notti insonni e giorni luminosi, di gioie impazzite e strazi immedicabili, con questa immagine che nelle ultime ore viaggia sui social a velocità, ignote persino a lui:
Evidentemente si sprecano i commenti su questo scatto e forse, anzi certamente, di un altro da aggiungere alla lista non si sentiva il bisogno….ma io lo avverto quel bisogno, insopprimibile, e pertanto, un po’ infischiandomene del giudizio degli altri (con Roger funziona così da sempre per me), scelgo un dettaglio di questa immagine, i cui protagonisti hanno letteralmente abitato, colonizzato i cuori di miliardi di donne e uomini in giro per il pianeta negli ultimi vent’anni e oltre: una mano che stringe un’altra mano. Quando il cuore non regge, quando l’esperienza della bellezza, anche quella dal fascino feroce quale è la bellezza della fine, ti supera, dichiarando a caratteri cubitali la tua insufficienza, la tua disagguaglianza, direbbe il poeta, “tra l’affetto e il senno”, è allora che cerchi un altro, è in quell’istante che provi ad afferrare una mano, a invocare un alleato di fronte alla sproporzione tra te e le cose della vita. Persino il pianto, a quel punto, non basta più, anch’esso appare insufficiente a risarcire la finitezza del mondo: la purificazione non è completa. Ciò che il cuore chiede è una mano da stringere, dita alle quali intrecciare le proprie per ingaggiare l’ultimo scontro, stavolta col rivale più temibile, quello che rischia di vincere sempre. “Come dite?” direbbe qualcuno, “Non serve? / Lo so, bella scoperta. / Perché battersi solo se la vittoria è certa? / È più bello quando è inutile, tra scoppi di scintille”.
Anche io da oggi, vedovo della bellezza, almeno della forma con cui per lunghi anni essa mi è stata consorte, ho bisogno di una mano da stringere, perché il mio cuore non si arrenda al cinismo, come accade a tanti, troppi che alla fine si abituano e smettono di desiderarne il contrario. Non voglio diventare abile a “gestire la fine”, non mi vergogno degli occhi gonfi che ho stamattina (sono comunque più limpidi), del mal di testa che non m’abbandona, come dopo una sbronza, chiedo solo qualcosa, meglio, qualcuno a cui non spiaccia commuoversi con me e di cui io possa trovare la mano.
Mia moglie è avvisata!
Salvatore Bottega
Ludovica Sommaiuolo
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